If you thought smartphone form factors were getting kind of ridiculous with foldables, just wait until you hear what Samsung will be calling its next bendable handset. Because you’ll soon change your position to one arguing the form factors aren’t getting ridiculous enough.

Words, even letters are losing all meaning

After releasing a timeless example of mankind’s growing need for etymology as a science – the Galaxy S20+ 5G BTS Edition – the Korean tech juggernaut is adamant to keep things simple with the Galaxy Z Fold 2 which follows a much more streamlined school of thought when it comes to nomenclatural philosophy by adopting the comparatively minimalist  noun-letter-noun-number formula.

Even critics will have to admit that’s way better than the silly noun-letter-number-mathematical-operator-number-letter-acronym-noun concept favored by the marketing team behind the Galaxy S20+ 5G BTS Edition. And don’t get us started on the philosophy Samsung’s tablet team subscribes to, as suggested by the incoming arrival of the Galaxy Tab S7 Plus 5G.

In an era that finally made communications scalable and affordable, noise is the new norm, with silence being the exception to strive toward; something to afford. In less existential terms, it’s time to pay up for that Premium subscription the YouTube app keeps pestering you about every time you launch it. Because being a cheap bastard is worthless if corporations have long since adopted an opposite philosophy, elongating their product naming schemes just to see how little you value your own time while sitting through hours upon hours of unskippable ads.

OK, that may not have been the most accurate or honest interpretation of what’s been happening in the mobile industry since the day of the original iPhone announcement. It’s just that Samsung’s marketing department has gotten so detached from reality that the sheer concentration of hipsterism its new product names are excreting is legitimately turning into a conscious entity triggering existential crises for its own sociopathic amusement.