The Xiaomi Mi Band 4C is now official, once again changing what everyone perceives as good value for money in wearables. Well, everyone who is A-OK with financing human rights abuses in China, which we totally are because have you seen those new Apple Watch prices? Imagine if they weren’t made in China in the first place!

Worry not because the new Mi Band is here, priced at the equivalent of $20 despite the promise of a 14-day battery life, 5ATM-rated resistance to the elements and a solid array of features you’ve come to expect from fitness trackers.

Stellar value for money, less so for human life

The kind of environment capable of consistently spawning such massive volumes of incrementally better devices may not be the best influence on human life in all its fragility, but luckily for you, it’s not *your* life that continues to be endangered by these products merely existing. It’s not even the life of anyone you care about!

In fact, even if you wanted to directly endanger someone’s life by purchasing one of these privacy nightmares disguised as lifestyle choices, you’d be unable to. That’s how much Xiaomi values your ability to reject any notion of responsibility and rationalize your way into buying another piece of Chinese electronics. Hey, the family’s getting big and everyone deserves a Christmas gift, no? It’s what Jesus would have wanted and you know it.